HOW SEXIST IS YOUR RAKSHABANDHAN?

The premise of the celebration is based on the idea that a brother must protect his sister from harm; in turn she must pray for the safety and prosperity of her brother.* Should women not prosper and be successful? Do men not need protection? As Shivani Bahukhundi puts it, the patriarchal roots of this festival not only assumes women to be incapable of protecting themselves, but also forces the role of a protector onto the brothers.

Before you say something like “yaar itna exaggerate kar rahi hai, it’s not that deep” or “it’s just a festival, why are you complaining - you’ll get gifts”, let me explain. This is important.

It’s seemingly small microaggressions like these that give power to the patriarchal, male dominant and misogynist society we live in. It’s because of practices like this the power imbalance between men and women in Indian society never seems to go away.

It’s because of this men feel they have authority over their sister; that they can police what she does and wears. It’s because of this that we normalise sexual assault; it’s because of this a girl can get assaulted by her own uncle and be too afraid to tell anybody.

Rakshabandhan, “boys will be boys”, slutshaming and catcalling might seem like little things. But they have much larger implications. They constantly invalidate women and they put men up on an untouchable pedestal.

*Of course, there are people challenging this: boys who tie their sisters rakhis, girls who tie their sisters rakhis. But that is the exception, not the norm. Most of us understand that this tradition is blatantly sexist, but we do little to challenge it.

The world is evolving. So why are we still feeding into the damsel in distress trope? I think we can do better. I hope that this rakshabandhan you think about your actions and understand how they can affect you and people around. I hope you make a choice about how you want to celebrate this festival.