I'll just let you know, you can brush that ass up against me any time you like, among other things. Well, it might not be this overt every single time. Don't worry, on a daily basis, you'll just have men ogling at you on the streets, looking you up and down, gauging the size of your butt and breasts, already imagining what's above those thighs. But you will have to be more careful at night, what with cars slowing down as you walk by, the footsteps coming to a halt, whistles sending chills down your spine. You're nothing but a body to so many people. A body that provides them with the gratification and high from knowing the control they have over you.
If the normalization of this behaviour hasn't already alerted you that something is wrong, then we'll have to re-examine what got you to this state of denial.
Firstly, it's important to realize that we live in a society where the men are conditioned to believe in the notion that women are bodies before they are people. Now, the media is the best place to look if you're searching for proof of this statement. Women are portrayed as figures whose job is to incite sexual feelings in men. The close up on her body as she leaves the beach, the water running down her skimpily clad figure, not to mention the man in the background, our hero who can't stop staring at her body. He smacks his lips as if she's a delicious meal and we laugh out loud because we have come to believe that this is an amazing attempt at humour rather than a major cause for concern. Imagine this idea running through the minds of millions of boys and men, that it's ok to treat a woman this way, that the cruel idea of a woman not being classified as a human being, but rather an object will actually add to the pleasure a man derives from her body. Because by denying her existence as an equal, we are committing the sin of assuming that she deserves no respect.
But that was just the men. Women too, you might not be surprised to know, are equally guilty. They engage in slut shaming like it's no big deal and assume that women who dress up and wear what they want to, do so to appeal to the men. In short, our entire society, made up of these very men and women, is responsible for our way of thinking. Many have reduced the female to brainless dolls, so we can't go blaming just one set of people. And as I write this article and am reminded of the many times I have blamed "society" for everything, I realize that playing the blame game is not the answer. It never was. We are all part of the problem, and we all need to put our best foot forward together in trying to find a solution to this mess we are all guilty of adding to.
We need to acknowledge the hypocrisy that we are buried deep within. And as if that isn't bad enough, we also blame the women who get raped and abused. We blame it on their choice of clothes. We blame it on them by stating that they committed the grave error of not factoring into their decision, of how revealing their clothes should be, the extent to which a man will be provoked into raping her. She has to be extra careful of the slightest hint of her cleavage showing, run through her mind the consequences of walking like that out at night, all alone. Because to so many men, all of this seems to send them the message that she was asking for it.
But, have you forgotten the women who were raped before jeans and skimpy clothing came into fashion? We are not ready to change the minds of the young men of society, but we are ready to come up with idiotic theories to blame our women. Isn't it time we wake up? Rape always has been and still is, only about power and the conquest of body and mind of another.
I reiterate that we need to think a little more, and stop aping everything we see. When you reflect on this issue, I hope you reach a conclusion that change is imperative. That change indeed begins with you. We can't continue living like this, hoping somebody else solves the problems of this world, or with the belief that one alone can do nothing; neither make things worse, nor make it better. But, as very well expressed in Calvin and Hobbes, "We are all "someone else" to someone else." You too are the somebody who can bring change, the same as the somebody you're hoping will change the world. And maybe, there will come a day where we each recognize the humanity in the other, and stop view people as hormone driven beasts or objects that provide sexual pleasure.
Comments